Blag Queen

Even though I never got an audition slot for today, I ended up just blagging my way in anyway.

I decided I may as well try, so I turned up around 3:15pm with my CV and picture. The lady didn't turn me away like I half expected, but asked me to return at 4:30.
In the end they saw me at six, because people kept turning up who had appointments- fair enough but I really didn't expect to wait nearly 3 hours. Still, I am glad they saw me because I didn't think I would get called up for the recall dates if I'd not been in the first round of auditions.
It was pleasant walking in (the lady's ditzyness really got on my nerves by that stage and I was fed up and tired), because I knew both the blokes auditioning me (the director and general manager) from a Shakespeare audition about 18 months ago. I ended up not getting the part at the time (I was too young I think), but watched and quite liked the production.

My God, I am just watching a programme about two actors who have a 2-year old and small triplets, what a nightmare! Now the bloke is about to give up his dream to stay at home with all the kids, what a bummer...

I think the appeal of all that reality tv stuff is that people can get into it quickly. You don't need to know any background of the "characters" like you do in soaps and series, they are just accessible hour-long mini stories. My flatmate never got into "Lost" because she missed the pilot, the poor thing.

Now my next audition is on Monday- I need to refresh a rather rusty Shakespeare speech I last remember using to get into Central (and failed).

I had an odd entry in my diary today: "Audition (voice?)" and I'm now slightly panicky because I have the vague feeling I missed something. No forther details were forthcoming, and I combed through my notes and phone without success.
Ah, now it dawns on me.

Actually this is a rather funny story too- in a slightly ironic sense:
It was for a voice over audition which I got invited to via email, then the person changed her mind and said it was actually the week before. I missed out on getting a slot, so she invited me for Monday instead (oh the tedium of using email to arrange dates- just bloody PHONE me!). I rang her to confirm (why me, it's THEIR project! And they pay a bit less than half of what I usually get for v/o work, but it sounded like a fun and worthwile project). Monday at 2pm was my new time slot. So I set off nice and early to get to South Ken on the bus, then rang her door bell just on time. No answer for ages, then she looks out of the upstairs balcony- "Yes!?" like she hadn't expected me. I said: "It's me, the angry actress, here for my audition!" She seemed surprised.
15 minutes later she opened the door and said she was surprised I hadn't confirmed again via email (why!?) on the day (does she think I am constantly online?- and why hadn't she confirmed?).
A 20 minute recording in her bedroom followed (I wonder if she auditioned blokes there, too- is she not worried about the saftety aspect?), she seemed to like my voice and got me to read quite a bit of one particular part.
I got home and had an email that night saying I hadn't got the job, but they will keep me in mind for future projects. So now I am slightly suspicious- maybe she liked it so much she will use the recording I did, without telling me? You never know...
I once did what I was told were "filmed rehearsals" (I never signed a release form) for an independent feature film, only to come across our efforts in a sort of press conference in Cannes at the British Pavillion- nice...
Mybe I am just being paranoid, after all how good can a recording from someone's bedroom be? Then again, that's how I recorded my first few voice over demos...

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I just remembered another odd audition I had about 2 years ago.
It was February, and I was invited to audition for a new-ish play on the fringe at the director's flat in North London.
By the time I got there it was quite late (I remember again there was an issue with dates and times, so I went there more or less immediately).
I did a speech from the Vagina Monologues I was working on, because the part was meant to be quite sexy, and then we did some reading from the script. I thought it felt odd to try and act out fairly intimate scenes with the guy, but because it was primarily a cold reading I guessed that next time I would do it with another actor whilst the director gave us feedback. The dialogue was all: "yes, kiss me, I love you" and so on, but we just read it off the page.
He got very distracted in a rather unprofessional way and we just ended up chatting about his flat and other stuff, until I felt it was time to go.
He rang me up for a re-call, and this is where it started to get a bit strange. Because he had a fairly distinctive voice I guessed it was him when he called me, which seemed to please him. It was early afternoon on February 14th when I went over to his place, expecting the other actor to be there too, but again it was just me and him. This time he had picked another fairly sexual scene (were ther eany others?), and we improvised through it with the script. We ended up on the floor sort of hugging, and I was trying to ignore all the instructions in italics in the script (like: they kiss passionately), thinking he can hardly expect me to do this if it's just the two of us!? How awkward was this, I mean I didn't want to appear like a wooden performer but I didn't exactly feel relaxed and like I was in a professional environment!
I had even been in touch with an actor friend of mine who was interested in the part, but the director had told me it was cast already so I had expected the other actor to be there for my recall.
Anyway, again we got distracted and just got chatting, which we both enjoyed but it was hardly the point of me being there. Then he started asking what I would be doing in the evening, as it was Valentine's night!? I said I'd be out with my friend as my boyfriend was on tour.
He didn't seem to get the hint.
Next time he rang me, he just went: "guess who this is!" - how creepy! I think he jsut wanted to go for a drink, but I can't remember now.
I then didn't hear anything for ages, so I rang him.
I never got the part.

Fast forward to this year- I bumped into the actress who got the part, at an audition. She told me that he'd got a girlfriend by the time they were running the show, and that he always expected her to do the washing-up. Her "revenge" was to write "I am not your slave" (or something like that) on a piece of paper 98 times (Why? I am just as puzzled as the next person. Just dump his ass!) . Apparently he then asked her why she hadn't written it 100 times!?
Weirdo.

He also tried to slime onto my friend who works at the juice bar. Yes, her with ICM who films with the stars and stars in her own sitcom. He reportedly asked her if she was an actress and whether she would like to be in his next play? Naked?
She refused.